******* YOU DESERVE BETTER **********

He was wrong - but he has had such an impact on your life - almost like brainwashing - that you may need help to get past this - yes i understand how abuse can sort of creep up on you - one small thing - maybe a name you are called .. then somthign else then you wake up and ask yourself WT?????? am i doing here???? it must be my fault - or why have i stayed? he must be right!!!

Well the ttruth is he saw someon who was vulnerable - who trusted and he abused that trust and you and he doesnt deserve you adn you bdeserve much much better.

you deserve to be treated wiht dignity and respect - to be loved for who you are not what they can manipulate you into doing - he was and probably stil is sick and needs help - but not from you ok.

I have experienced this and i have seen it with my sister - its almost like well ok he abuses me but if i dont have him who do i have??? and isnt he better than no-one - he must love me?

IMHO he loves the control - if yuo dont have him you can start to get back your self respect and dignity that yu ahve deserved formthe beginning - i wihs you hadnt met him too - but you did and he got his claws into you and stil does to a degree..

Are you seeing a therapist? someone who can help you through this?

i have friend s who have married great guys - so they are out there - but from what you were saying i and agian just my opinion - i would say you need some help before you start looking agian - you need to heal yourself and love yourself and take care of yourself -

PLease dont even think of going back to him - remember what he did to you and every time you do say I DIDNT DESERVE THAT _ HE WAS WRONG.

Im asorry if i got on my soap box a bit - its just that i know how easy it is to accept beign in that situation or similar and how hard it is to get out of it.

PLease take care of you ok

P7