Wow! Reading all these posts brought tears to my eyes because I can truly relate to these issues. I was conceived by accident by two teenagers. I'm considered a 'bastard child.' My mother raised me by herself...as a teenager (15 yrs old). My father's mother (grandma) denied me and moved away when she found out I was about to be born. I didn't meet my father until I was 9 yrs.old. And, I asked to see him, not the other way around. So, my mother found him and set it up. Well, to make a LONG story short, both parents were controlling, belittling, domineering, and critical. I was NEVER allowed to express myself. If I did, I'd get punished. My mother was awesome at providing all the necessities in life since she worked and went to school (got a degree and became an ER nurse). However, she failed at being the nurturing and encouraging type. She was too busy screaming and cursing all the time..full of rage!

I developed a severe panic/anxiety attack disorder as a teenager, had my virginity cowardly stolen, and became suicidal from severe depression. I've always felt rejected by many people..friends and family being at the top of the list. Well, I'm now 34 and married with two boys. My panic attack disorder disappeared 4 years ago. My depression decreased 70%, and I no longer suffer with suicidal thoughts. HOWEVER, I'm very very angry with both families....mine and my husbands. In fact, I cut the ties completely not too long ago. They made me feel bad about myself, talked behind my back (negatively), interfered with my marriage by trying to turn my husband against me (his side), and never truly accepted me. Both families get quiet around me and don't say much. I'm an open, extroverted, down to earth, frank young lady. My hubby's family would have preferred a closed, introverted, sweet, reserved, and private young lady for their son. As for my family, I make them uncomfortable. They don't call me much and treat me as the reject/outcast of the family. I feel my husband will resent me if he's not able to have a relationship with his family. He's the easy going type and can handle them..to a degree. I know he'd want a relationship with them so he can hang with them on the holidays.

Any ideas from all of you??? You all have given the best advice I've seen yet!!!! I need help sorting through all this. I need to know HOW to deal with rejection, put myself in others shoes, and know who or who not to allow in my life. Also, my dad and I have clashed through the years and he keep LITTLE contact with me. My mom recently replaced me with a new daugher who she adopted from Russia.

Looking forward to hearing from all of you!

Steph