Can I ask who treats you bad? Is it family or friends or other?

I get what you mean, it can feel safer to remain in what we understand and expect - e.g horrid names.....but sometimes, as horrifically hard at it is we need to take a risk and face our fears. That can mean confronting our worst fear and our deepest beliefs about ourselves.....

I understand how hard that is. And it doesn't happen over night, I can testify to that! Sometimes it feels like an endless journey where we take lots of steps backwards....

But the main thing is that somewhere along the line we say 'NO!' to both ourselves and others.....it may be only a faint no at the beginning but recognising ppl are treating you badly is a start....next step is to believe you don't deserve it....

btw i've never asked before but are you in therapy?