Thanks for your reply Fool Zero, I really appreciate it

I'm kind of confused as to what you're saying. Do you mean that perhaps they can only handle a certain amount of responsibilities to friends and unfortunately the responsibilities to me might be the straw that breaks the camel's back? (camel's back meaning their plate of responsibilities?)..sorry couldn't think of a good term to fit best what I was trying to think of haha.

If that's what you're implying, I have thought of it in that way. That might be correct. I also thought of it in the sense that if you have people in your life that meets all your needs, e.g. one who you can talk dumb things with, one who is interested in your hobbies, one who you can 100% rely on etc., you kind of don't need anyone else. So that's why I'm kind of just left hanging.

There are definitely a lot of logical reasons why it is the way it is and I get that. It's just hard to deal with. It's frustrating that I can't just let it go and accept that I'm not as important to them as they are to me. I'm not sitting here thinking what's the reason? Because I can think of so many possibilities and I'll never know, but I'm just sitting here letting it get to me when it shouldn't.

I'm letting all the negative emotions rip me up inside and letting it spill into other areas of my life where now it's affecting other relationships outside of this circle of friends etc. I'm afraid of what might happen b/c my mind seems to like telling me negative things and I can't shake them off.