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I'm looking for some advice support. Guilt, anger, and worry consume 85% of my thoughts.
I feel guilt because I'm moving on with my life while my mom is with a man who treats her badly. She won't leave him. And yet I feel bad because I'm moving on with my life, to a new part, chapter in my life.
I'm angry because my mom treats me like a relationship of convenience. I'm the one she goes to when she is lonely or bored. We can't even go eat dinner without her boyfriend cause she doesn't want to hurt his feelings or upset him.
I worry about her. As I move forward and she stays where she's at, with him, with a man who makes her cry daily and who makes her pay for everything. A man who tells her she is fat and this is a man she's scared to make mad or go to dinner without.
Then tonight she says next week lets go shopping. She can't even go eat without him what makes her think she is going to be able to go shop without him. I told her no, that I didn't need any clothes that I just needed to lose weight cause I do. Not only do I need to lose weight but I really don't have the money to go shopping. Yes, I was given a $100 but I really can't afford to go shopping and plus I'm not really a shopper. But as I said it I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to tell her everything I'm typing and everything I'm thinking but I didn't. I knew that it would start a fight. I knew that it would.
She acted hurt that I said no to shopping but really whats the point she can't do anything without him. I kid you not if I say lets go eat dinner she turns and looks at me and says lets go tomorrow when he's working. Its not like he has anything to do with her when their together.
I don't know what to do. If I talk to her about it, it will just upset her and start a fight. If I don't talk to her about it then the guilt of not spending time with her and moving on will just eat at me. Its a no win situation.
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