Hi everyone, I'm new here and I've been asking some questions and seeking various advice to deal with my schizophrenic boyfriend of seven years. I've been getting so much good advice and support here, one member in a different forum brought it to my attention that the problems I had mentioned are not necessarily schizophrenia related, just regular relationship issues, which was a relief to know.

So here is my situation, me and my bf have been super close and communicative for the whole relationship prior to my birthday this past June. He has been withdrawing since late June because I pointed out that he didn't give me a birthday card, (which he always had given in previous years.) He left a sweet voicemail though. But he said he was busy configuring his computer, which I know he was doing even weeks before my bday but it still seemed odd. So I told him I wanted the card at some point, even if it is late.

And he even got an attitude with me, which was very unual for him because he is good natured. So I got suspicious. For all of July he barely talked to me. Then he started to lighten up in August and start talking a little more but not nearly as much before. Things started picking up even more in September. We both started a new semester the second week of September at different colleges and he's had a lot of school work and has a particularly hard class he has to concentrate hard on. Plus he has new responsibilities at work. I have a very tough load of online classes but I have made the time always to email and call him.

But the problem is I havn't heard from him in a week, he has not responded to my voicemails, he hasn't even checked them because the voicemail box is full, he hasn't answered my email. But the last e-mail he sent was very hopeful but he did indicate the things he had to do and it's a lot for him to manage.

What I do know is that it takes a lot of concentration for him to manage a lot of important things at once but he has been able to do well at our relationship, while working and attending school in the past.

Since he has schizophrenia I know I have to consider heavily the stress factor can cause performance issues because of the way people with that illness process things, stress triggers a lot of problems for them. His doctor says he has mild schizophrenia though and I've seen him gaining steady progress over these last 3 years after his diagnosis and the treatment program that he successfully completed.

But I few times since late June, I had been trying to tell him that I didn't understand why he didn't give me a birthday card and it hurt my feelings but he didn't want to listen and I kept wanting to talk about it because it was improtant to me. He also doesn't give me ANY gifts ever so the card is the ONLY special thing I have to look forward to from him on my birthday and holidays. Anyways anytime I bring anything up that bothers me, he gets all depressed, he can't handle being told he's wrong even if he is! And it's just really annoying and frustrating.

I get that most of the issue is just how men naturally act but this bothers me how can I get through to him? And then I just think he is naturally sensative and emotional too.

I'm try everything but nothing works. I'm willing to try new approaches so that he will communicate with me and answer my questions.

I guess this all bugs me so much is because he was always the one to initiate everything, all the communications and doing stuff together and always showered me with attention and that's all I've ever been accustomed to.

And since late June, now I've had to begin initiating everything. It's so different now and I don't like it. I was able to bring up our lack of communication the last time we talked on the phone but he said he thought things were fine with us!! Why do guys do this? Maybe it's fine to him but not to me. I just want things back the way they were....


Any advice would help, thanks.