I wish you would trust us and say something positive about yourself here. I know it's hard to not think of ourselves in a hateful way when we think we "should" be doing better etc. it's fine to say you feel like a piece of cow poo but it's not okay to say I am a piece of cow poo. See what I am saying? Example, for me;"I have pain in my hips and legs right now but I worry that I am a faker trying to get attention. To, oh yeah, here I am exagerating {sp} again just to get attention so I can feel sorry for myself" Can you see the difference. You can ask people if you are a piece of poo. We all would tell you no, but asking about those negative feelings is helpful for you to do. If you think bad things ask us if they are true. I hope this makes sense. I understand also about the red box and smells. Keep yourself here in the present as much as you can. Kids are a great help with that.