hi donut,

i have thought about this. i am going to assume you have inner email at your job. i am going to assume its not in your job description to answer to her in any way (regarding what you are doing).

i am a big believer in boundaries and consequences and set statements (practiced) used to respond to a consistent inappropriate behavior.

it is true that passive aggressive people use body language and tone to their advantage so that they seem so innocent in their *words*.

i would ask the person to not make any personal statements to me as that is a form of harassment and will be reported to human services. if it is not in job description to engage with this person regarding your job, you can also state you would prefer to not spend time on the job explaining about the job you are working on.

i would also inform them that if they choose to continue to make personal statements or attempt to engage in areas that are not in your job description that all future correspondence will need to be addressed through email if they want a response. (you could email your boundary statement instead of speaking to them)

if they continue with personal statements or harassing, all you do as a response is CALMLY state, please send that to me in email. and while you state this do not make eye contact, don't raise your voice, act as if you don't care (even if you do, they want a reaction probably and that is their payoff) . even if you have to repeat it 20 times...continue working (act as if reading something and turn the page even) and keep calmly stating...i will respond to you when i receive it in email. do not change the statement according to how they respond. just keep repeating i will respond to you when i receive it in email.

also i would definitely report to human services that you will not tolerate harassment on the job and would like for them to speak with this person. also inform human resources your boundary regarding email if future communication is needed.

i would love to role play to help you with this person if you ever get a chance to make it to the chat rooms. if you see Moreta, you could ask her to IM me to see if i am online and ask me to join you.

i hope this makes sense. feel free to pm me if you would like to try this and if anything else comes up regarding this situation.

no one should tolerate harassing or bullying no matter if an adult or child. and no one needs to know your mental health issues on the job site.