I've been married 29 years and have always lived with poverty. I am disabled with a B.A. in Social work,although I have never worked.My husband has his B.A. in the same with 35 yrs experience in mental health.But lack of a Masters degree has gotten him nowhere when higher paying jobs have come open and all we've ever done is scrape pennies.We've had cars reposessed, been evicted, filed bankruptcy,go without medical care because we have no insurance and live in bad housing,Until 3 months ago my husband was unemployed. Now he works once every 8-10 days. He can't get anymore hours.We did have a housing voucher and we just lost it because he found this part-time job. We also had food stamps cut in half.To say I'm depressed is an understatement.I've been crying everyday for two weeks.I believe I've come to realize that this is not just the short term financial crisis we're dealing with but the realization that that things are never going to get better. He is 59 and has never gotten his Masters, so I need to accept that he never will.He's always been a procrastinator and I've always paid for it.
I also have a pdoc who wants to give me meds I don't want and a therapist I havn't seen in 6 weeks. I can't get scheduled.Two months ago I went to the Crisis Stabilization Unit( I'm bi-polar)and they said I really need to see my therapist once a week. I just had a close friend die 2 weeks ago and I am trying to also get my alcoholic son to get some help and get a job as well. I've been out of church for 6 weeks because my husband does not like our church and I don't drive or have any way to get there. We've agreed to look for another church but not being there has been hard on me. For the first time ever I see no hope for things to get better. I'm stuck financially, in a home that is literally falling apart around me, and unable to get out. I pray a lot, but that's all that's keeping me going.