Ugh, I'm going through it right NOW.

There are times when I feel SO secure in the connection, and, probably more importantly, secure in MYSELF, and in my connections outside of therapy. During those times, I don't wonder about T, don't worry whether or not he's there, etc. I just feel like everything is "okay".

There are times though, like now, when I feel like he has disappeared. It feels awful and scary and makes me feel obsessive. I think that for me, it's mostly when I'm not sure I'm OKAY, and I need the mirror of him to know that I AM here, and I AM okay. Without that mirror, I feel lost.

That's my theory right now, anyhow. It feels AWFUL, doesn't it?

Ugh. I'm sorry you're feeling it too.