It's needing "object constancy" --
Quote:
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Lack of Object Constancy: When a person is lonely, most of us can soothe ourselves by remembering the love that others have for us. This ability is known as object constancy. Some people with BPD, however, find it difficult to evoke an image of a loved one to soothe them when they feel upset or anxious. If that person is not physically present, they don’t exist on an emotional level.
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The quote is from a BPD website, but I think that the issue applies fairly broadly.
Zooropa, it does feel awful. I can do the object constancy thing better now, but for years I couldn't do it at all. I used to carry one of my T's appointment cards with me all the time, and holding that allowed me to cope a little better. (I was afraid to ask my T for something physical of hers, but lots of T's give people something from their office to take home, and that helps also.)
Take care,
-Far