(((((Googley))))))) There is no way to fill the hole left in us by the past. A part of healing is to allow the self to grieve what was lost. This is the part that hurts the most.

I think sometimes when T is THERE for us, it just highlights even more what we did NOT have as children.

That can cause us to really long for our past hole to just not be there. Maybe this is part of where your pain is comming from?