I am working on this very thing with my T. He says--and I believe him--that I am very angry, but I hide it from myself. I can see the anger sometimes in drawings that I do, and in the self-harm that I once did (and still think about).

I am trying hard to tap into it so that it is not all bottled up inside, but it's a very scary thing for me to do. As Eileen says, I am trying to notice the little flashes in my daily life. But the big anger is buried deep.