I think I would hold off on telling her your feelings, for now anyway. Since you value her friendship so much, maybe it would be a wiser choice to seek a therapist or counseling service. That way maybe they can help you sort out your feelings & possibly give you some insight as to why you now see her in a romantic way... For instance, if you're like me, you tend to be attracted more to people who are essentially unavailable. My father was always very emotionally withdrawn from me & I wanted so much to have his approval, to know that he loved me unconditionally, but I never got that validation from him. As a result, I've brought that childhood pain with me into adulthood & it effects my relationships with all men. I see the pattern, but I don't know yet how to break that cycle. I think you would have serious regrets if you spilled your heart out to your friend right now. Of course, ultimately that decision is yours. But your knowing that she is "homophobic" could add to the attraction you have for her...the one goal that's just barely out of your reach. I hope I've helped in some way & I wish you the best!
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