DPS, I know sometimes in rehabilitative therapy, feeling pain again is a good thing. it means that connections have been made to parts of the body that the brain had forgotten about and given up on that actually are still there and need to start functioning again. No, it doesn't feel good when one has to start moving that arm again, jolting the nerves again... your anger is the limb your brain forgot, but that you need so badly.
I hope with time the nightmares will change, that your tormenter will be stopped and that the tormented will be empowered. As time goes, this often happens, but it takes time. I just want you to know I am filled with admiration for you and what you have done. I don't know if I could ever face that kind of anger and fear and still function at all. HUGGGGSSSSSSS if that's ok, and in any case, all the good wishes i can send.