Thanks, tree. Unfortunately, 3 weeks is not really a break for us anymore. Our standard interval is now 2-3 weeks. C'est la vie. After my session a few weeks ago, I felt slightly uncertain about what had happened in therapy, and it made me want more distance from T, so I chose 3 weeks until the next appointment. Then this latest session, I felt very connected with T and excited about our direction and like it was productive and so I chose to have the interval until the next session be only 2 weeks. Tree, I hope you will do OK with your new, longer interval between sessions.

It did feel good to be honest, even if it was well after the occurrences. And I also talked to T about a hard topic that I have been a bit skittish about before. He is usually up to whatever I say to him and responds well. I am the partner who is not a good dancer. I am just scared sometimes to be vulnerable with him. On this occasion there was no sense of T possibly withdrawing, etc. It wasn't like I was saying "you effed up, buddy! you made me feel like c**p! it's all your fault!" What I said would not put a person on the defensive (not to say I don't think a T should be able to respond without getting defensive to a client's hostility or accusations). I just told T how I felt when he had said some things (hurt/triggered or disappointed). My disappointment is my own, not something he does to me. There was nothing for him to respond negatively to. It sounds a little like you and googley are saying something along similar lines. And it's interesting to me! That dynamic was not part of our interaction.