Maybe I know what it is. I wish I could have told my mother what was bothering me like I can tell my T. I wish a lot of things in my past had been different. But it's too late now. I need this kind of relationship with my T but is it really how you are supposed to be with others? I don't think people are so honest with one another. Are we supposed to be?

Life is awful frustrating and challenging. Only my T gives me what I need. It's all too confusing for me right now. Why is it so good with her? I don't think I deserve what she is giving me. She's trying to make me feel good about myself but I still feel like a failure in many ways.

I'm just rambling. I don't know why.