Thanks for the insights everyone. Hindsight is of course 20/20. Demanding something is not a good idea. I get it now and I`ll scratch that off of my list of how to handle things. We all make mistakes that are dumb, even those of you that came down on me so hard for what I explained to you. My time with my bf has not always been like this I guess I decided to react in certain ways based on my frustrations that have built up over the years. I believe we as humans do that from time to time. My bf is a very decent man and I love him so much but he`s not always able to be how a mentally well man is for certain reasons. In late August I started to realize this when I started to research for the FIRST time about his illness. I never had time because Im in school and he always seemed to be handling everything so well I didnt realize it was something i had to know about. Again, I know better now so I`d appreciate not being lectured about how I should have researched the illness sooner. Its not easy taking care of myself, making sure my grades stay at a 3.5 gpa to ensure that I keep getting my scholarship which is one of few things that is keeping me in college plus trying to emotionally support my bf some times life is hard and stressful for young women trying to make a way in the world for themselves. but whatever. I shouldnt be telling strangers my business anyhow.