I agree and sometimes think I can detect it (anger) in myself. I am getting better at it. Therapy has helped. But often it is the hurt beneath the anger, as I wrote before. It is hard for me to experience a number of the negative emotions. I have gotten really good at sadness, though! But hurt and anger are harder. I remember once I was in a situation where I knew most anyone would be angry. But I didn't feel it. I knew I would be expected to be angry, though. It was awful--the pressure to conform and be angry. So I just faked being angry. I felt so stupid and dishonest, but I didn't know what else to do. I have been angry at my therapist twice (truly angry, not faking it). It was scary to be angry. But it was good too.

The reason I asked about if not having anger was causing problems for you in life was because I have heard that unexpressed anger can cause depression. So if you were feeling at all depressed maybe it was due (in part) to the lack of anger? But it sounds like you are doing OK....

Good luck with this. The anger puzzle... First you have to learn to figure out when and if you are angry. Then you have to learn how to express the anger. And there are apparently good ways and bad ways to express anger, and you somehow have to know and choose the right ways. My T makes a distinction between anger and rage, and I don't understand that either.