I do ask, "How are you", but then I make sure that i am prepared to listen to the truth. Sometimes, particularly if I am hypo, I know i go on too much, but most people know how to send the signals that "whoa girl, tmi," and i try to respect that.

Some folks seem to be in a competition. One I know I unfortunately have to have a lot to do with. She is always going on about her kids problems (all worse than mine, although her kids are all so much more brilliana than either of mine) and all her troubles are so much worse than mine. She refuused to eat during any of her pregnancies, then demanded huge sympathy becasue all her kids had such rare complications after birth. Now her kids are so nervous beccause of her mom, and she herself is constant showing up on my door step demand help and upset and crying with one or the other kid in tow because she is too upset to check their mouth or some cut or look in an ear or something and needs me to do it.
the kids, are, of course, basket cases. I feel so badly for them. I have looked in ears and tried to calm them while checking in mouths and eyes while mom freaks out nearby. Any attempt to calm Mom leads to, "You don't understand!" (I have known this woman for twenty years) Any suggestion, even my very gentle ones, and my husband's more desperate ones (it is his sister)that she get help for her problems for the sake of the children is met with, "It's my parent's fault, you know, I'm not like you (me). I'm not taking medicine." Atthe same time she uses her problems to try to get special consideration for everything, even to the point that I feel like she uses her children's pain to manipulate me. She looks down on me for needing medication, but tries to get back at her family by saying "See, my kids are a mess because you made me a mess, now you owe me."
I'm sorry. I know about her parents. She had a horrible time, so did my husband and his brothers. But he kids and her husband are having it pretty bad NOW. At some point, she, like I and her brother, have to chose, do you keep this going? Her mom madethe same choice she is making, and another generation was crippled. I have watched my husband cry about this, I have cried about this, but finally, I can't afford to anymore.

for some people, the ssue of having difficulties, including mental illness is an issue of entitlement to wreck revenge on the world. It is a patern that you get taught, but it is a pattern you can break. You may not see it at once, but you can do it once you become aware of it. This woman started this after she herself opened her eyes to this pattern. Her response was, "what a great way to make sure that the world pays". At this point, My empathy breaks down for her, although it does hurt to remember how she was, once. Now all I can see is what's happening to her babies. THEY did not and cannot choose at this point. HUGGS all, but this goes beyond irritation.