Rainbow, in my posts this week about telling T I love her, I also spoke of how that was met by my family growing up, so on one hand I had what I'd always longed for, someone to love but mixed in was the grief of the past and how my love was never allowed, perhaps you need to go through this stage of grief and doubt before the fullness of what is possible today can hold? Just some of my thoughts, disregard what doesnt "fit".