Zoo, I understand everything you are saying in this thread and the email. Sorry I didn't read it until now. Even though I haven't been abused, I have the same feelings about therapy. It HURTS so much to have this relationship and know that it's going to end, that it's not permanent, like you say. I agree with you. The t-relationship is like agony and ecstasy and I am struggling with that now too.
I think your email is so honest and I wish you could send it or give it to your T. You've been with her 2 years and don't discuss your relationship. I think she'll be open to discussing it if you need to. Any T should be willing to discuss the relationship no matter what orientation they use, in my opinion. It's important to you and causing you to want to quit therapy, so it's important to discuss in therapy.
Kacey, I too feel like it's the relationship that is healing, and I need that not to end. I'm so afraid my T will die before I have enough of her. Yet, I am able to actually visualize my needy child self climbing into her lap and her hugging me. I never could soothe myself like that before. But that's something new for me and I don't trust it yet.
Zoo, I wish you luck in your next session or in sending the email. I know how hard it it!






