I agree, the relationship itself is a big part of the healing.
I know what my T would say if I said this to her:
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It HURTS so much to have this relationship and know that it's going to end, that it's not permanent
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she would say that nothing in life is permanent, that we never know how long someone will be in our lives, that I should be focusing on the fact that I have her now instead of worrying about someday when I don't have her.
and I do understand that, to a degree. Using mindfulness to stay in the present is very freeing and reduces distress, I've learned that and I believe it. But I can't help the way I feel, it's not so easy to just stop feeling or thinking something. If only it was, right??
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She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said.
~Brian Andreas