I am seriously seriously seriously exhausted. I got almost no sleep last night.

I went to an event ALL day today that I've really been looking forward to, and it ended up being really disappointing on so many levels. I had no food or water all day and by the end I was so sad and overwhelmed and exhausted I didn't think I could stand it. I had to find my car and couldn't even find the parking garage it was in and once I found the garage, it was like some kind of fun house from hell with crazy levels and walls and almost no other cars and it was just scary and tiring.

This event today was a big part of "getting through October" for me, and I cried all the way home.

I NEED T. I just do. And of course he's not there. It's the weekend, he's my therapist, he's not available.

Blah. I feel like I can't express myself right now. I just feel really tired and yucky. I took a klonopin and hopefully, I'll just go to sleep, even though I feel guilty going to sleep when I've been gone all day.

I just can't STAND THIS sometimes. I know I will be okay. Right now I just feel awful