Rainbow, I know what you mean about not wanting to let it go, ever. Parts of myself still yearn so badly for that connection to ex t, but the reality now is that when they seek it it only ends up hurting us more (because they cannot have it like they used to). I don't know if their want to be safe in that therapy room with her will ever go away.
In many ways the T relationship does mirror the idealistic mother / infant bond. They really are the only relationships I can think of that where one person is wholly there for the support / wellbeing of another, without expectation of it being reciprocated (other than the fulfilment of watching another develop and grow). In my own life I think I have accepted and grieved the loss of everything my mother couldn't give me, but that doesn't help my insiders want ex t any less. Perhaps there will always be parts of myself that yearn for that closeness and safety with my ex t.
Sigh.