hi, i sat here and read your situation and i have to tell you that i am going through the same thing at this very moment with my boyfriend. he and i have been together for 3yr and i tend to sabotague our relationship by talking to another and he found out. i truely do and did not care for the other but i still found myself betraying my boyfriend. we have seperated do to my actions and i look back on what i have done and i feel it stems down to me not knowing how to open up to. i know i dont have an answer for you (because im looking for it as well) but i just want you to know your not alone.