Well, I guess I'm going to be a pollyanna, but I do believe you can have close relationships outside of therapy. I do think the therapeutic relationship is special, but I think there can be intimacy and closeness with others out there in the real world. In fact, I would not want a relationship exactly like the T one with a friend or lover or family member. I would like the closeness, but I would want it to be more reciprocal. It would be yucky if it was not reciprocal with a lover or friend. I just think it's hard to find people who know how to be close or want to be close on the outside. Maybe we need to wear big signs on our backs identifying ourselves, but that would scare a lot of people away, I'm sure. There is no doubt in my mind that my T has very close relationships outside of his office with several family members (e.g. wife) and friends. He has told me that. They are rare but do exist. I wish I had some.

Yes, I have been there, as the Mom who wants more closeness with a daughter who doesn't. It is painful. One daughter is very close to me and it is good to have that, very good. The other daughter and I are growing closer, slowly slowly. The mother-daughter relationships are not fully reciprocal, though. The parent always has to give more (and should give more, IMO). But nevertheless, I still value the closeness I can have within those relationships. It is definitely totally worth it to work very hard at having good relationships with your children. I am glad you are having some of this with your grandchildren, rainbow. May those relationships continue to grow.