My bf teenage neice is staying with us in our cramped and cluttered small 1 bedroom apt. I'm used to it being just the 2 of us and having privacy. I like being alone, i don't enjoy having people around me all the time unless its my bf. I don't see people much, i don't talk on the phone much, thats just my personality. So having someone in here is really upsetting me. I have this feeling of being on edge, and like butterflys are in my stomach and my head feels funny. This feeling is constant. I do have high blood pressure and i take meds for it and am afraid its going to go up because i'm beyond stressed. My bf works and i don't i'm on disability and she hasn't been in school so shes home all day and i can't stand it. I don't want to be around anyone, i don't want to talk, i want my alone time and my privacy. I feel bad keeping my bedroom door closed so eventually i open it and she comes in and sits on the bed and starts talking and questioning me. I'm depressed so i do sleep alot and i don't like to get dressed, shower or anything somedays, i just lay like a vegetable in bed and stare at the tv and now she is seeing me do this. I didn't want anyone to know i wasn't working nevermind what i do all day which is nothing, laying around like a vegetable. Its embarrassing and i'm sure she has told her family. The house is a mess because i don't feel up to cleaning, its cluttered and i never even wanted anyone to visit. Now she is here and she sees and knows what i do and i'm pissed off and humiliated. I have books on depression, all my meds on the night stand which she questioned me about also. I can barely get online and i need to be able to get on line and communicate with people. The only reason i'm on now is because she stayed at a friends house. I don't know how long i can deal with this before i lose my sanity. I just needed to vent and hope to get some support.

Anjelmarie