Dear Mixedup,

Take a deep breath in as well as out. Be honest with yourself: Why do I feel so horrible? Have I done anything terrible, reprehensible, immoral, disgusting, or embarrassing?

Am I trying to please my T? Why do I feel a need to get my T's approval? Why do I feel so anxious when all I did was tell my T the truth - that I don't feel comfortable being a patient as well as a consultant?

You prepared some documentation and gave it to your T.
After giving it some thought, you became extremely uncomfortable with the knowledge that the therapist/patient relationship was morphing into something different. After much thought and consultation with your peers, you changed your mind and you advised your T of your feelings.

I applaud the way that you stood up for yourself and told your T the truth. I hope that you will stop beating yourself up and give yourself the credit you deserve!

As uncomfortable as this may feel right now, you have been presented with an opportunity to grow. I can't think of a more important skill than knowing your boundaries.
Hugs, Laurie