I am new on this forum, but not new to the journey of healing.

These past days I have been feeling the deep seatedness of my my self-blame and self-judgment from the sexual abuse of my childhood. In looking at this a confusion has arisen regarding what is my shadow and what is not.. the repressed feelings and emotions, I know, are mine.

It is a projection or image in my psyche of the abuser.. a masculine image that is oppressive.

In Jungian terms, it would be said that this is an animus image in my subconscious, formed from my early experiences with the masculine in my life.. my father.. how my psyche adopted/saw this aspect of the masculine.

I saw myself in a recent dream, as a child, fighting off an (abusive) man, with my anger and rage. He retreated. I woke from the dream very present, very grounded.. feeling the need of my inner-self for the embrace of my love and acceptance.. that young me that had to fight so hard to protect herself.

Since this dream, this image, this psychic element/imprint, has been very present in my consciousness. It feels like I am facing, very directly, this imprint/impression in my psyche.

The anger, the rage no longer feels right.

Blame is not the answer.

Self-acceptance and self-responsibility is.

A little perplexed right now and welcome input, as how to regards this image.

Kamini