I've never posted anything like this before but I could really use some outside perspective at this point. I'm 23 and I've been with the same man since I was 17. We have a son together (I got pregnant six months into our relationship) and for our son's sake, (and for my own pride too I must admit) I have tried to make our relationship work. My husband however,(we are married now) while I want to believe he is a good person at heart has repeatedly done things to hurt me (not physically but emotionally) For example, he has spit in my face (in public no less), called me very, very hateful names (sometimes in fromt of our son) In addition he is intensely jealous. He seldom wants to go out but gets angry when I say I am going out without him. He constantly thinks I am having an affair because some of my closest friends are male and he has even gone so far as to threaten them by phone or e-mail "to stay away from his @&*!$%# wife" (This got so bad with one friend that he was concerned that he was causing so much friction in my marriage that it would be better if we did not speak anymore.) I find the whole thing ridiculous. I've never cheated and have repeatedly told him I see no point in cheating because sex is not our "issue" Anyway, things have degenerated to the point where my son is not comfortable at home (whenever my husband raises his voice now my son covers his ears) I've tried to avoid arguing with him to let his anger dissipate but I feel I am truly not in love with this man (I am actually doubtful that I ever really was). My problem is that I know that alot of his behavior stems from his childhood and his relationship with his parents and I feel guilty that if I leave I am somehow giving up on him. (I would be content to stay in our marriage so that our son did not have to deal with the ugliness of divorce if we could at leat be civil to one another even I knew he was not my soulmate.) Making this even more difficult is the fact that when I discuss leaving he tells me that he is going to commit suicide or that I'm taking away the only real family he's ever had. This man has no empathy and I'm afraid of looking back and regretting I spent so much time in a relationship that is, I believe, emotionally destructive for myself and for my son. (I ltry not but sometimes I lose my patience with him and lash back out at him with equally ugly words and then I feel terrible about it. He can be so charming with me and his son when he wants to be and that is what makes this so hard...he'll apologize and modify his behavior for awhile but then we seem to fall back into them same bad patterns. Sorry this is so long...