I've been away this weekend and haven't had access to the computer, but I jumped on this thread as soon as I hit the site because I SO relate to this. I feel like my T just vaporizes when I leave her office. I think it is why I rely on email so much with her because her responses help me feel connected to her and remind me that she really does exist "out there" in the world. It's crazy to me and I hate it. I feel like I child who hasn't learned object permanency or something. She went on vacation a week or so ago (I did, too, so it isn't like I was home either) and I literally had a meltdown. I hate that I feel so dependent and clingy to her. It feels like a negative thing to me. She has reassured me over and over and over and over that she will not leave me until our work is finished, that she cares about me, that she believes my story, and on and on and on....and when I am with her I can believe it but when I leave I can't take that with me. It's like all the good I can't carry with me. She even gave me a little something that I always carry with me, but even then - I don't know. I don't mean to make it about me. Sorry. I guess I just want you to know that you aren't alone. Sometimes I feel like I spend more time (or as much) dealing with T relationship issues as I do my CSA issues!! She is an AWESOME t, and gives me so much out of office contact and time, but I just don't get why I feel the way I feel. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. (((Zoo)))