Here's another exercise for you, GL:

When you read a post and then feel as though there's no hope for you, or even just that some people don't think that you're going to change, can you try to remember that other people post to you with the attitude that you can change? Or maybe that some people who post to you show sympathy, empathy, protective impulses, and generally DON'T say that you're bad?

It can be hard, because somehow the negatives get through our filters in a way that the positives don't.

Fact remains, though, that there have been some very supportive posts to you here, and yet you're reacting to the ONE that isn't.

As for your exercise, good first effort, now keep it going. You are more than just that 23 year old student, right? You probably have more in the feelings and thoughts area, too.

Explore them. Either here, or -- preferably -- with a good therapist.

Good luck.