Quote:
Originally Posted by Luce
I think, in general, Ts have well develop self care skills and are capable of managing their own feelings and pain. I think too that many Ts are highly empathetic, and this leads them to feel right alongside us. There's a distcintion I think, though, in that they may not necessarily feel OUR pain... but perhaps feel FOR us. Perhaps their pain - that which makes them cry with us - is that they see a human being who is hurting. I don't think they take on our pain, per se.
I don't think your Ts tears were because of you being 'too much' for him or him not being able to 'cope' with your feelings. Perhaps they were simply because, as a fellow human being who cares about you, it saddens his own heart to see you hurting.
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Thanks Luce! Yes, I agree. I don't think he took on my pain, but that he
understood my pain. if that makes sense? He got it.
Former T moved earlier this year. A couple of weeks ago, my professional life collided with his personal life. I have spent the entire year carefully avoiding this situation. It was the unthinkable, for me. I asked a colleague to help, but didn't share the personal details. She was unable to because of a family conflict. Ultimately, the circumstances became overwhelming for me. T calls it a "very heavy load".
I think seeing me hurt does make him sad. He said he needs to help me ... to empower me.
I think a part of it is this... I have had four T's in three years... MT (who happens to be a very good friend of T and also my H and my MT for last three years) told us last week...he is moving. This makes the third T,
THIS YEAR, who has moved (The other two were Terminating T and Former Female T). I have been with this T for a year.
I think T is feeling his own pain (of MT moving plus he used to supervise my Former T ( who terminated me)), empathizing with my pain, and understanding my fears.
It's overwhelming me...I guess I worry it may overwhelm him too!