I saw T today, the first time in 3 weeks and it was completely non-productive because I just sat there. I had wanted to write out how I was feeling these past few weeks to share it with her but last night when I sat down to write it out, I couldn't put things into words even on paper so I decided not to do it. So I went in there today and she mentioned that it had been a long time since we'd seen each other and she asked how I had coped with it, and all I said was that it was very hard for me because I had a lot going on with me and no one to talk to. And that's pretty much it, I didn't say hardly anything the rest of the session. I feel so disconnected from her and I feel like I'm slipping away into a deep depression. I probably should have just said that to her but I stayed silent and the session was basically a waste of my time and hers.