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Old Oct 18, 2010, 12:44 PM
Anonymous32887
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post
I would think about the "too much" part. What does that mean to you? Everyone is human, has feelings, etc., we can't really become too much for ourselves (since we are ourselves) so how could that be too much for another? Other people can't really become us, feel our exact pain. I think as Luce says, there could be two or three reasons for your T's tears, but they're his tears, based on his experiences, not your tears or based on your experience. Can you ask him?
Good question. I don't know the answer.

I DID want to ask him about his tears last week but I didn't feel like it was allowed/appropriate/permitted? I worried it might be crossing a boundary. I am hyper-sensitive based on past experiences.

One time recently as he returned from a seven week break, I cancelled an appointment. At my next appointment, he said I was testing him. His EXACT words..."Just don't test too much." Later, I realized those words felt threatening to me. He didn't realize how it was perceived by me until I sent him an email and asked him to please not say it again. I told him I trusted him to know this was not about him.

Sometimes, therapy seems conditional.