I am not sure if its completely accurate but it goes something like this,

Neurotics complain of their illness, but they make the most of it, and when it comes to talking it away from them they will defend it like a lioness her young

I feel this is true for me, i hate it and when i am in my worst stages and all i want to do is die, i wish and wish to be normal.
But when its not there, i feel so empty...
I dont understand this, does anyone else?