Thanks, Rainbow, for checking in...

I am not doing well at all. Not at all. I am still in full blown panic mode, and my anxiety is through the roof. I saw a friend yesterday, and she's a medic. She took one look at me and was very concerned. Took my blood pressure, and it was 158/120....and I'm on BP meds....She said I was a stroke waiting to happen...

This is eating away at me. And now I'm more fearful than ever to talk to T....all these feelings are consuming me, and I am totally freaking out.

He didn't respond to my one email....and so I just sent him another one basically telling him that I was in full blown panic mode over his suggestion to work with him on projects outside of therapy. I told him I needed to know his motive behind doing that....and wouldn't it surely have an impact on the client/therapist relationship. And that I'm scared - blood running cold fear....and need him to respond.

This is the worst I've felt in a long time...