I've known this guy since 3rd grade, so 7 years now. When depression hit me I stopped talking to him (around 12 years old) but earlier this year we got back in touch. This guy has always liked me since he met me, and has never made an effort to hide it. However I only see him as a friend, and I always have only ever thought of him as a friend.
However.. Around him I'm very much out-of-my-shell, I guess you could say. I laugh so much and the effects of hanging out with him for a few hours last well into the next day. I'll use his words to explain how we are, we have "great chemistry".
However, I can feel myself falling into a negative trap.. In the beginning, he would let me go through his phone and I would in front of him just to look at his pictures and we would talk about the people he still talked to and all that.. But then recently he started deleting everything before letting me mess around and in the beginning I just shrugged it off, but then today he kept texting this one person constantly and I asked who it was, he didn't tell me and then, in just a joking way he said he was gonna text all his friends with stuff about me. I tried to shrugg that off too but I felt a little hurt by it. He then pretended to text and I wanted to see if he was bluffing about what he said before but when I went to look, he pulled away, laughing, and I didn't get to see anything but a lot of words.. This time I was really upset and I said to him, why would he joke around like this, acting all secretive and such, after he knew I was cheated on and talked about, in this exact way?
He kinda didn't really get it and went on texting his friend and said that he wasn't cheating cause he wasn't even aware that we were going out. I told him we weren't but it wasn't exactly the point.. he was teasing me in a way I didn't see funny and I found it kind of insensitive..
Then he gave in and said he would show me so he showed me the screen and in that split second I looked up all I seen was "deleting all messages". I don't even know why but it kind of broke my heart. I mean I have no feelings for this guy at all, and I'm sure he didn't realize how it was affecting me, yet for the rest of the evening I was very quiet and bitter. Though I was questioning constantly my behavior and if I was justified.
I mean I can't treat him like my boyfriend, and I can't step over the boundaries of privacy as I don't particularly enjoy it when he talks to me about my ex, or about my lack of enthusiasm to go to school..
This friendship is kind of getting a little more difficult than I had intended
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