He is obviously confused as to whether you are a mother or wife. He has seemingly retreated to his boyhood so he may play with his toys. Under distress this happens with some people

He is in a state of concern and so is turning to what he feels at most comfort with most safety with. By all means urge him on and support him into working. It is not right that you should have this stress all alone

You are taking steps and I truly hope things change for you, and by the way no you would not be the worst wife in the world for trying to change things

Morgana