I added a post to "scarlet rain" in creative corner tonight
...and really had to use a razor...I just couldn't contain the pain any further.That is ...well I am just not ashamed."I understand,".. I told me.It wasnt enough...I needed to feel the sting of hot wax too...I hurt ...I have nowhere to release this pain...and I dont want to end my life cause I believe I would 'horseshoe back into existance.I almost drove off a cliff earlier today...this was the lower octave.I feell like I need to feel pain physically in order to numb mentally.Obviously I cant go to doctor with it.Look what happened last time.Just ...yeh....so thats me.