Everyone deals with things differently...i
I am following advice by getting ti out of my head.. writen down where i don't look back at it.
No one is right and no one is wrong.
I am not dwelling I am allowing myself to grieve.. something that I struggle to do. I am accepting of the feelings and emotions. Shutting the door on them and pushing them away would only have the same impact as my father's death had.. I didn't acknowledge him when he was dying and that caused me much pain/depression/angst over the past 13 years...

This time I am not in control (hard for me) I am letting nature take is course in a normal way.

I don't think ignoring or trying to forget what has happened in life is very beneficial to anyone..

This is my way of dealing with it. I had a relationship.. a real realtionship.. it ended as things do. I struggle with this for many reasons.. one being that I have been hurt over and over and finally opened up again.. well that probably/hopefully? wont happen again.