i hate how i feel this way.
I cut myself often and its getting to the point where i feel i cant control it, and will harm myself over small pathetic little things (like there being no crumpets left)

Sometimes i feel i want to test myself to see how far i can go - as if to play chicken with myself.
It is not just the cutting that is self inflicted. I push myself to take pills until i throw up. I have to take 10 codeine tablets a day for another pain i have, and i deliberately drink say, 6 bottles of RTD's a night, or dont eat. I know this isbad but i feel as though im not actually commiting suicide outright so its better?
Maybe.
I dont know.

Help please?