Hello Bi-Polar Bear,

I feel you are on track with what you share.

I know that we can go 'round and 'round in our stories in the healing journey.. and there comes the time when we approach more deeply the core issues/beliefs in our psyche.. and thereby recover from them our power to heal. So much of it all stems from the mind.. the impressions created therein as we grow and develop in the world (in abusive circumstances).. when we face these, we are able to decharge the energy of the emotional body, to decharge the experience/memory of abuse and the labelling and assigning of blame, to self or others.

We eradicate the false self.. and recover the truth of our deepest essence.

I cannot choose, or even want or wish, for another (the abuser) to feel remorse. I cannot make another take blame. I cannot effect anything in their life. I cannot control any other. To want to try to do so would still be the child in me hoping and waiting for someone to make something right, to take it all back, yaddah, yaddah.

No, it was not "correct," it was not right.. to ever deny another the right to know the truth of their being, their inner beauty.. to weild that kind of power and control over another, is never right. But I can choose to control and to know my own self/Self.. to honor the pain through which I have grown.. to be grateful for the depths of human experience that have brought me so deeply to the core of my heart and soul.

Where I used the term self-responsibility it was with meaning that we alone have the power to heal ourselves.. no one can do it for us.. we cannot change what was/is.. but we can choose to see differently, to see another perspective.. to see our wholeness.. we can choose to stop paying our dues to our stories.. we can choose to see them as the stepping stones to wholeness when we touch deeply the innermost yearning of our soul.. which I feel for us all.. is to know ourselves as love. None can do this for us. We must do it ourselves.

You are right in saying that the child of me is "not" responsible for what happened.. but I am responsible to assure her (myself of this) and to give her the life that she deserves.

I feel that in the healing journey we often go on subconsciously looking for the parent, the mother, the father, who would have been what the child hoped for and needed, the image of a loving caring god (which is what parents are to their children, the institution of god, in a very real sense).. and what we have to do is to become our own parent.. we have to grow the loving mother and father god inside of ourselves to give to ourselves the life that we deserve.

I feel that this recent dream and image is showing how I am standing up to and taking my power back from the abusive/oppressive imprint in my psyche.

Jungian analysis/therapy is all about self-responsibility.. in the sense that it is actually a very spiritual model of therapy that recognizes the need for the integration of the psyche/soul.. that the healer rests within. We could say it is a journey to "Self".. finding our unique expression in life.. our gift to give to the world.

Best Wishes,
Kamini