question why is it so bad to check the emails and phone records after something like this. I am going through a very similar situation and after I knew my husband lied to me I did check up on him. I needed to know just how big a fool he was making of me. We shared an email account for most of our marriage. He started watching a lot of porn then he got his own email acc't. He said it was because I was getting so much junk mail but I know it was because of the porn I had told him that the children use the computer and he shouldn't be getting that stuff sent to us. He stopped by getting his own email. The porn didn't bother me much it wasn't real but when he started finding old girlfriends on fb and calling them taking it off the computer that's when I lost it.