One thing I do need to add to my previous post: although I have never had a T or counselor accuse me of sinking into a victim mentality, I have caught myself at times throwing an expert "pity party" when I am caught up in a negative attitude. If I don't expect much positive in a situation, it is easy to simply not demand enough of myself, either. We all do this - I am painfully aware that I do it too. The realization was very humbling. Maybe this is what your T is trying to point out, although it seems he is aggressively overstating the fact and obviously his communication style is in need of some serious improvement, imho!!!