I feel the same, its a continuous cycle of waking up in the morning and the majority of the time I feel fairly hopefull and confident. By mid-afternoon I start to get really angry for no good reason usually. By evening I am a bit more restless and much much more unhappy and resentful of myself, and by late night I am a complete mess. Thinking the same dangerous thoughts you mentioned and I have to really focus on not making an irrational decision. THen I just have to wake up the next day and start all over again....so exhausting!