Ivy and Gus make excellent points. I too would quit being disabled in an instant, if I could. And I do realize that sometimes, my husband has to make allowances for my abnormal behavior. Heaven help me if he expected me to be normal all the time.

Yes, sometimes mental illness does mean incompetence. Especially if it is undiagnosed and/or untreated. I am still suffering today for decisions I made decades ago, before we knew (or admitted) that I had a mental illness. Because of it, my children were raised primarily in foster care. I am on medication and much more stable now, but since my own children spent so much time in state custody, the state I now live in will not allow me to house my homeless daughter *with* her children. She can stay with me until she finds her own apartment, but the children must remain in foster care. Because Grandma's "crazy." And no, they wouldn't return her children if she's in a shelter. Oh, if only I had been able to get my symptoms under control much sooner, and been able to raise my children myself. I was too messed up to be a proper mother, and consequently I am now not even given a chance to be a grandmother. My daughter is at least entitled to regular visits with her children. I am not. Grandparents have no legal rights in Washington.

Will my daughter seek counseling for her depression and codependency issues? Hell, no. She's already seen what the state of Washington does, the minute a mental health diagnosis comes into play. If she pulls herself up by her own boot straps, straightens up and flies right, she stands a chance of getting her children back. But not if she has a mental health diagnosis. They'd just use that against her, as a reason to keep them. Why? Because it's a toddler and a newborn, at the prime adoption age, as opposed to older kids and teens. They'd be adopted in a heartbeat, if the state could wrestle them away from their mother. So they want to, believe me, and they'll do whatever it takes.

Sorry about the rant. It's really on my mind. Back to the topic. My point is, even though I have a mental health problem, I still don't want excuses made for me if I were to commit a crime or hurt someone. Some mentally ill people *are* incompetent. I am not. And I don't wish to be *labelled* incompetent, just because someone else is. I have no sympathy for the Susan V. Smiths and the Andrea Yateses of the world. When I realized I was a sinking ship, I didn't drown my children. I provided lifeboats for them by calling the state myself. Although I have been criticized and judged for not being able to raise my children--in fact, someone told me "losing custody of your children makes you the lowest of the low"--I disagree. At least I'm not a monster who killed them and then whined, "Don't prosecute me, I'm depressed."