I am trying so hard not to spiral out, you guys. I can't quit thinking about the thing I remembered in session today. I am just so raw and ashamed and wish I hadn't told my T, can't believe I even did. I think I lost my usual filters for a minute there and just told her what I was thinking, which I rarely do.
Anyway. I keep thinking T must think I'm so gross and bad and just...yuck. How can she not think of that when she thinks of me? I don't want that. I don't want to be that person.
I sent T an email this afternoon, here's what it said (slightly edited to remove graphic details):
Quote:
I just wanted to say thank you. In general for being awesome, and specifically for remembering ***************, about ******, and for saying it today. I don't really remember telling you that, and having you say it first today made it possible for me to say it, too. I said it, right? I hate how foggy my head gets around this stuff.
Anyway, thank you, and maybe when you have time you could write back and tell me something, anything, that will help me not feel like I'm full of shards of broken glass.
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__________________
She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said.
~Brian Andreas