((((LittleForgetMeNot)))) I am so sorry you are so alone. I agree that your dad IS NOT HELPING AT ALL. Especially when u are reaching out and searching for help (not just burying/dissmissing their pain). Ummm...you could also try talking to someone at a nearby church? Many now have a qualified counselor on staff to talk to one-on-one and/or a childrens/youth ministry w/people availiable. Maybe they have resources too...or at least have some type of established safe "space" to just honestly let it all out. No man or woman is an island. Your dad's approach isnt fair. Again i am sorry you have to struggle with all of this